Panic rage! Did I just miscarry..?

anxiety-girl

I woke up this morning in a very good mood. The birds were singing sweet melodies. The crisp air breezing through my window circling me scented with gorgeous spring. And I was all toasty and warm beneath the covers of my double bed. It was a good morning. Sadly nature called and forced me to the bathroom to perform the usual, equally annoying necessary duties I needed to pee. So I got out of my bed, stretched, and headed next door to the toilet. When I had finished I got up, looked in the toilet bowl and noticed this thick red clot like stuff in the toilet. It looked so weird and red, and weird, and clotty and…

At this point those were the thoughts or lack of thoughts circling my mind.

Then I got a little closer. And stared for a while. And it struck me, a rage of panic, dread and dispar.

Did I just pass a little baby, mini me, ickle darling. I just passed a baby! I had a miscarriage, oh no, does that mean I can’t get pregnant, I mean, I don’t want a baby now, but I do in the future. I knew it! All those reckless times of no protection, and I thought I was lucky. Ha! you’re not lucky DD, you’re just BARREN. Oh no, Oh No, OH NO!

Yes that was the kind of panic rage that was going on in my mind. I ran to my room and grabbed my phone, ran back to the bathroom and started to take loads of photos. I mean, if I did just miscarriage, then I needed to remember this ickle mini me… didn’t I? Now below are some photos that I had to share with you, If it makes you puke, I apologise in advance, but I  just wanted you to see why I was a little bit panicked. Mind you, my Beloved said it doesn’t resemble a fetus at all, but rath a normal looking blood clot. I do have the tendency to jump to the worst conclusion in anxiety driven panic rage moments, Beloved also knows this about me.

20160528_062911 20160528_062955

But anyway. After I had calmed down, I did some research on miscarriages and I am pleased to say, that ↑ was not a miscarriage. Just seems my period this month is a little heavy, and blood clotty.  It is normal to have blood clots like that though right? I have had clots before, but they were tiny, should I be seeing a doctor?

DD! Calm down!

So yes, that was the tiny bit of panic that happened this morning. Now panic has gone I can resume the important duties of a Saturday morning. Playing Sims-in bed-for hours-on end…

I hope this post didn’t scare you all away 😀

Happy blogging

God bless x

DD

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